so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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