When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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