dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
