Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You pole danced in your parka.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm both gender and math confused
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
