the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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