Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
