Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
