Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
