And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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