he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
