i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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