he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I woke up under a house in Key West
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