She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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