found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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