piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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