she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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