Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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