took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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