Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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