I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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