Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
