I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I woke up under a house in Key West
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