"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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