I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You were trust falling into bushes
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
