He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
