It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
