Dual....:-)
i was born a porn star she said
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
