So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
