The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
