Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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