Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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