Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
