I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just want nice things and good sex
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
