Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Im part way to drunk.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
