u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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