Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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