I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
