EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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