u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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