We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
