She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
