in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
