im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
