I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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