Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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