I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
