I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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