do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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