Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
