Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
