The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
